Fit Series – Not Another Weight Loss Story

I have an active gym membership and I use it reguarly.

Believe me, whatever judgments you have about gym memberships, I had them too.

It’s too impractical.

It’ll make me fat when I stop.

I don’t like being around a lot of people.

I don’t like weights.

There are free ways to exercise.

The list could go on. For a time, I  tried to avoid admitting I go to the gym due to the fear of being judged, and the pressure to manifest results. You know, girl issues. Imagined audience and perspective.

Recently, I realized there’s nothing to be ashamed about. In fact, I have a lot of things to be proud of. I am doing my body a favor, regardless if it’s impractical or if the gym’s constantly full of conyo girls and boys. I make time for fitness.

The first month was about experimenting. Trying out everything the gym has to offer, except the weights equipment. I attended several group classes, including yoga! Yoga isn’t for me. Not yet. My friends and I made it a point to go to the gym everyday, mainly to get the most out of our monthly payment! Eventually, I found myself visiting the gym regularly because I can feel my body asking me to.

I also used to say that I don’t want to be locked into a certain fitness program, but I do eat my words a lot and I’m now hooked on Fit Series – basically our gym’s version of Cross Fit. This so far is one of my biggest and earliest achievements. It’s something I never thought my body was capable of doing, but it has been my primary routine for the past two months. Your body can do anything, if you will it enough. Promise. Take it from the clumsy-me. It never gets easier, and I don’t want easy. Oha! Each time the trainor demonstrates the exercise per station, my hands gets all sweaty, my body’s reaction to tension or nervousness.

I have learned to the love that kind of nervousness, though. I’m addicted to the sense of relief and pride I feel after completing all three sets of grueling exercise routines. One good thing about Cross Fit is it really permits you to move at your own pace. You can cheat, you can rest, you can push your limits, YOU CAN WALK OUT AFTER ONE SET. It challenges your discipline and commitment. You only get what you worked for.

I wish I could tell you an inspiring and motivating story about how much weight I lost after three months of going to the gym. But, I do not have drastic weight changes, I’m far from a bikini body. I only measure my progress. I want to be able to do more cardio reps, to carry heavier weights, to jog faster and longer, and more importantly to eat clean.  For now, I’m more than happy to no longer feel fat, even if other people still think I am. My own family calls me fat, and I just smile. Because I know that I’m not stagnating, that I am taking care of my body even though I don’t pass other people’s standards of sexy.

We need to stop appreciating bodies for their weight or aesthetics. I have attended cardio classes where seemingly thinner and younger girls give up sooner than the older and ‘thicker’ ones.

We should all aim for sustainable fitness. If morning jogs sustain you, do it. If no-rice diet works for you, go for it. For me it’s going to the gym and quitting fast food and soda (hopefully, minimizing breads soon). It’s no longer impractical because I reaped way more benefits from my membership fee. I will not gain weight when I stop because I do not intend to stop. I like being around people who value fitness even more than I do, even if some of them are conyo. Haha! And yes, there are lots of free exercises out there but it does not work for me, I cheat a lot when I’m alone. :D

The true expression of self-love is consciously and actively taking care of our bodies, instead of constantly taking it against people who criticize us. Let them. Keep on…… :)

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Filed under I told you so..., Retrospective

2015 Primetime

Inspiration hit me late this year. But after a hectic yet happy start, I’m nowmore pumped for a little goal setting for my scattered-brain self.

This year will be all about

2015 Goals

Nothing less, perhaps more… :)

 

 

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Filed under Note to Self

SOS

Most of the time, I try to veer away from missing you too much, because I cannot do anything about the longing, anyway. Each time I feel the “I miss you” thug, I just leave an I Miss You sticker, and that’ll often suffice.

But today isn’t one of those days. I don’t want to leave a Viber sticker, and I cannot avoid missing you too much. I don’t want to talk about what’s wrong, yet, because I’m not even sure what  it is exactly.

I know you know me to be someone who refuses to feel alone or lonely. Instead, I feel extremely burdened, and it just gets really difficult to function normally when that happens. So, what I really want to do now is to get out of the office, and hangout in either of your houses. Watch a feel good movie, cry over it. Then, we can talk, after a good movie, and a bucket of random tears. We’ll probably laugh at our overly dramatic selves, too.

And I’ll feel better, lighter.

After spending most of our days trying to pull things together by ourselves, it just really feels cathartic to reach out and run to friends who will listen to your silence, who will not force you to be fine, who will still gladly cradle you even when you’re at your worst.

“Your love is just the antidote when nothing else will cure me
There are times I cant decide when I cant tell up from down
You make me feel less crazy when otherwise I’d drown”
-Push, Sarah McLachlan

PS : I feel lighter now, after writing this. :D

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Dear Perper

Dear Perper,

I am writing to you, because that’s how I first met you.. through writing. I am writing to you because I don’t know how to channel my… sorrow..and anger.  I can now clearly remember how you call me “Ate Kath!!” and how that always made me smile.  I also remember now how happy I was to find you in the same University I was attending, and yes we still beam at each other when our paths crossed. For the first few months in the univ, you still called me “Ate Kath!”

Months and years passed, we barely see each other in the campus. But I see you, seemingly fighting for something worthwhile. I was not surprised to see you become such a principled person. You always loved being socially relevant, even when your were just 14 or 15. That’s probably why you excelled in newswriting, too. You were my Assistant Newswriter, but you emerged to be way better at it than me. You were there when I said I will never write news again.  But you know what? I write news for a living now. Would you have laughed if you knew?

You may have pursued other passion and portrayed other roles other than the nice boy who wrote news stories with me, but I’m pretty sure you remained brilliant in whatever you were doing.  I have nothing but admiration for you. In what you have become, in what you aimed to do, in your selflessness..

I will always remember you as the smiling, effortlessly funny, carefree, and cute Perper.. I hope you read this from heaven. :)
Rest in peace Perper.

Much Respect,
Ate Kath.

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20 Random Facts

Here you go. I want to do this with photos, but I decided I also want this to be as spontaneous as possible. So, let’s change the challenge a bit, shall we? List 20 random facts, no overthinking, no editing, no sugar-coating.

Time: 9:45

1) I nail bite. I’m biting my nails right now.

2) I’ve owned this blog since 2008.

3) I’ve never been thin, ever.

4) I have two pets that have made me a lot kinder to other animals, as well. I trust them more than some people now.

5) I am always early. If I’m not, then something must be wrong.

6) I hate it when people are late.

7) I’m a government worker, and it’s not as bad you think it is. The jobs and the perks can be pretty cool!

8) I have naturally straight hair, that I recently permed. Girls.

9) A huge fan of KC Concepcion, Hilary Duff, and Isabelle Daza.

10) I rarely have handsome crushes.

11) I never wished I was taller. Honest.

12) I’m in a healthy, loving, crazy, relationship with the same guy for more than five years, now!

13) I can’t cook. But I’m planning to learn.

14) I love long walks. I slightly love jogging.

15) I love coffee.

16) I’m trying to love tea.

17) I tend to overspend.

18) I love notebooks and pens.

19) I have a bitchy resting face, and I’m totally fine with that.

20) I get insecure sometimes, usually over girls who are sexy, pretty, and rich all at the same time. Unfair!

Time 9:54

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September 26, 2014

This year’s September 26 was far from what I imagined, but right now I couldn’t wish for any other kind of celebration than the one I just had. I wouldn’t wish for TreeVolution to be scheduled to any other day, I wouldn’t wish having enough sleep that day, I wouldn’t wish it didn’t rain hard that night. Yes, I broke down, out of exhaustion. But today, I smile, with so much gratefulness, because everything turned out to be for the better.

At least TreeVolution happened…
TreeVolution Logo
There’s no doubt that the event was a huge celebration of Mindanao’s unity and resolve to pay back Mother Nature, but it also gave me an important, personal reflection.
It taught me that it’s easy to be selfish when you try to control things too much. I was so frustrated I couldn’t get home as early as I wanted because we had to give up our vehicles to the hundreds of students who were hiking their way back after planting. “What about me? What about my birthday?” I consider myself lucky to have been with people who made the selfless decision for me, people who saved me from being a brat all the way. Looking back, it was totally heartbreaking to watch those kids walk in agony, begging for a ride in every vehicle that passed them by. I’m glad I didn’t go home on time.
At least TreeVolution happened…
I got to share the experience with my family ( sister), friends, and boyfriend. They  had their respective struggles, and like most of the participants, had to endure long, excruciating hikes to the planting site. But, ALL of them made it! They taught me that there’s nothing that determination and love for some adventure can’t accomplish. I will always be proud of their stories. I wouldn’t even wish for them to have it the easier way. Easy is forgettable ;)
At least I didn’t have enough sleep…
Because I probably did not head home right away and would have missed my sister’s TreeVolution story. I would have missed the overwhelming care and understanding that my parents gave us (sister, Marvin, and I) after seeing our exhausted faces. They basically let us nap all over the house, even took the effort to stay as quiet as they can, so they won’t disturb us.
At least it rained hard that night…
Because I finally convinced my parents to have “overpriced coffee”. It was always a dream for me to bring my parents to a coffeeshop, to see them just sit, and enjoy a hot drink. I wanted to show them “my world.” Haha! Thank you, heavy rain. :)
Family dinner :)

Family dinner :)

At least it was still raining until we got home…
Poor Marvin had to go back home with us at Mintal where his motorcyle was parked. We took a nap while waiting for the rain to stop — a nap that lasted for 8 hours! That’s what 2hrs of sleep and 2 hours of hike do to your body. So, a couple sleepover with parents’ consent just happened.
Yes, I definitely would not have it any other way! :)

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Loving Dogs

I look at them and I’m calm. I feel joy with the sight of a wagging tail.

Prince and Choi <3

Prince and Choi <3

Loving dogs, especially ours, is probably one of the best things that happened to me this year. Once an extremely strange idea,  I already understand how those pet lovers I used to refer to as strange feel. I now know why my friends John and Yves teared up over Eight Below. If I watch that movie now, I think I’d be sobbing for about four hours.

Six months ago, I was certain that animals have no space in my heart. And I am willing to take that all back, now. Our two pups, Prince and Choi ocuppy a massive space in my heart, in our family’s hearts.

They are our constant reminders to always hang on to life’s simplest pleasures, no matter how cruel it can be sometimes. It was always easy to get drowned in life’s earthly battles, but a few minutes of playing with our dogs can readily lighten my perspective.

“Life is simple. Nothing can’t be fixed. Life is simple.”

With Prince and Choi around, we are assured that we are capable of giving happiness through our mere presence. Knowing that their time with us is limited, our dogs teach us to always live for the moment, to give them our best whenever we can.

They are undoubtedly cute, but they also require so much of our commitment and care. The moment you bring a dog to your house, it has basically trusted the quality of their life to you, and that in itself is a huge responsibility. They, too, deserve the world as much as we do.

A dog’s personality is sometimes way better than a human’s. Even with their limited intellectual capacity, they instinctively know how to live harmoniously with the other living things around them. They don’t ask for too much. They stop eating when full. They don’t kill the plants around them. They would willingly play with the neighbor’s pigs, if only that’s allowed.

Loving dogs is training me to be a better a human, for me to be more deserving of their affection. It’s a daily struggle, but it’s always good to have Prince and Choi around to keep reminding me.

Always a happy day with these two. :) <3

Always a happy day with these two. :) <3

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Filed under Note to Self, Pets